Grief, connections, and why the universe always has your back.
Nikki & Her mom reached out to me about a year ago for her September 2019 wedding at one of my absolute favorite places, Everly at Railroad in Tuckahoe New Jersey. At this time, I was dealing with a very sudden and tragic loss. I lost my dad, who I was very very close to, in a way that still doesn’t seem real. To be honest, the month after the burglary that led to my dads death is a total blur. I couldn’t really grasp life, work, reality or even my breath. I had been in and out of the emergency room & crisis center, mostly due to symptoms post traumatic stress, and of course the general grief and confusion that comes with sudden loss. When Nikki had called to book me for her wedding, it didn’t even occur to me at the time that her wedding date would fall on the anniversary of my fathers death, one year later. I met Nikki & Tommy sometime in November to shoot their engagement session. I had felt compelled to explain to her what was going on, since many of my out-of-town clients really had no idea. The conversation we had had given me a sense of comfort, and I immediately felt connected to her. As the year progressed, I had gotten lost in different corners of the world & focused on healing my heart, and my brain. It had only occurred to me over the summer that on the anniversary of this significant event in my life, would happen to fall on Nikki & Tommys wedding day. Nikki & I had shared conversations about faith, death, and exploring similar beliefs and ideas. I felt like she really understood me in a way that might be a little out of the realm of the normal, fun, lighthearted things that I typically chat with my brides about. It was something on a slightly deeper level. As their wedding day approached, I was anxious about how I would feel, or if I would experience the post-traumatic symptoms that I had spent the past year managing. I spoke with Nikki about it how It would be 1 year to the date, but not to worry and that I would have lots of moral support (hi Joe) and everything would be okay, she said “I think the universe may have planned it that way.” I realized she was right. Even when it seems like the worst of the worst has happened, there is something divine and purposeful behind each significant and insignificant event in your life. As time goes on, and as I heal and grow, I find such a sense of comfort in believing that there truly is a force of divinity in everything that happens. When the day arrived, I had no signs of distress, or sudden sadness. I wasn’t distracted at all. I was focused, happy, I had felt I was exactly where I was meant to be, doing everything I was meant to be doing. Thank you to Nikki & Tommy for trusting me to be a part of your day, and for letting me document this amazing time in your lives. Thank you to the universe for having my back. Here is a peak into their perfect day at Everly.
Flowers & decor: Primrose
Make-Up: Brielle Zangari
Hair-: Angel Jacobs